Tag Archives: potential

Your Little could be Someone’s BIG

11 Sep

Oh the Amazon eBook rankings! The Evolution of a Stir went from placement of 1,000,000 to 100,000 from just ONE sale (a big thanks to Brian and Sharon Jones). Of course I’ve watched the rankings on and off since the release of my book, but this morning a huge reminder of what one person’s small action means to another. I am so grateful for one sale, however you can imagine what snowball effect one more could have. For those that don’t understand, rankings drive sales by boosting a book’s appearance. The more exposure, the more opportunity. Simple for a reader, significant for an author.

And about that book. A reader and fellow blogger’s recent prompt…
“Imagine yourself doing what you love…being unique, being you”. That simple comment, another reminder of what stirs me most and why I wrote about it. (Thank you Traveling Tortuga!)

Whether it’s buying an eBook, or offering a stranger a smile, your seemingly small gesture could impact another in a grand way.

So click here to buy The Evolution of a Stir now…it’s only 99¢! Then go smile at a stranger!

P.S. Brian Jones has a book too! Indian Paintbrush by B. K. Jones is available here.

As the Stir Turns

9 Feb

mayyoursoulstir.com

Feeling a little down and troubled, I revisited The Evolution of a Stir. Since putting it all together and releasing it, I’ve not really read it and taken it in. There’s a lot of wisdom in those words, exactly what I needed today; a reminder of my dreams and desires, and a push to keep going.

As my baby steps take me to the end of this day, I prepare for my slumber. Now I lay me down to sleep…with fortitude, a wish, and a prayer. ~ The Evolution of a Stir

Goodbyes and Hellos

31 Dec

Hello 2014I bid 2013 a spirited farewell. It’s been a series of failures on a path to accomplishments. The lows and the highs bring new light to 2014 and I’m eager to embark even new trails.

As I say prayers for me, I say prayers for you. May your goodbyes bring you a wealth of hellos.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And So It Begins!

17 Nov

A writer. Who would’ve believed? I surely never did.

A blog. When thoughts transformed into words, an opening began.

A dream. A series of books…life lessons from my heart, eventually to include other writer’s stories as well.

A book. My first! The beginning of a dream come true.

I proudly and enthusiastically present…

The Evolution of a Stir - Front Cover

It tells of my journey…a series of revelations that began a process of change. Each a short story, each a life lesson, each prodding me forward.

With a limited number of print books available*, get yours now! One of those life lessons may speak just to you!

Click here for more information and purchase!

 

Tuned In

29 Sep

The beginning of a recent drive, a song resounded from the radio. As I sang along, I absorbed each and every word. And oh how timely. “I can see clearly now the rain is gone”.

As some of you know, I was unemployed for several months. My own doing, a resignation brought on by discontent and the desire for something better. The hope of something better was far higher than my reality. Riding a roller coaster of emotions…from fear, anger, and doubt…to peace, resolve, and drive; I stayed dazed with confusion.

Stepping out of the boat, one of my hopes was that a miraculous door would open. I have certainly knocked on enough to qualify, but the break wasn’t forthcoming.

A recent occurrence, I now have steady income…a job in accounting, but it’s a means not an opportunity. I have come to realize it’s not others that will provide those…it is me. I have my miracle and I had it all along. It’s inside me…the beautiful peace that comes from realizing my own potential.

I’m no longer knocking on doors; I’m going through them.

“It’s gonna be a bright…bright sunshiny day.”

Stay tuned…

Either Or

25 Aug

They had it narrowed down to two. I was one of them. My references were checked. I had a second interview. This was a fifty/fifty shot, the best chances thus far.

I was ready. Decisions prematurely made…no book, no blog. No attempts in social media to market my writing. I would let go what I’d built over the last year. Ready to ditch it all for steady employment…the eight to five, live for the weekend kind of income. It’s what I know. It’s my comfort zone.

I’m out of my comfort zone now…the furthest I’ve ever been…financially, mentally, spiritually. I claim that in the most positive way and I credit the cathartic process from writing. Never naïve enough to believe my words could truly make a living, but it has been the one thing I ponder. Could a passion that makes your heart pound actually provide that source?

The logical approach…get a job and keep writing, but for some reason I can’t get the two worlds to mesh. Every time, when on the verge of getting a job in my old world, I’m certain to give up writing and the pursuit of publishing. It just feels simpler that way. My head, as well as my heart, just can’t get them to go together.

And every time, with each rejection, for just a minute it knocks me down, then it pushes me…to writing. It pushes me to think about going all in…really pursue it…as if my financial, mental, and spiritual life depends on it.

The fifty/fifty shot didn’t come through. The all too familiar snub…once again a facilitator.

Perhaps that’s exactly what it’s meant to be, because maybe, just maybe…I’m meant to write.

Happy Anniversary to Me!

3 Jul

It’s been one year since my epiphany…the epiphany to write, and the spiritual voyage that ensued. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions, most of them high, but it’s been one of healing and transformation. My spirit dark and weary has grown to a place that sees light at the end of a long tunnel. I’m still traveling that tunnel and it’s very narrow at times. Questioning my God, my prayers, my path, and my choices, but I’ve come so far.

Still unclear where that light leads, it’s guiding me through the darkness. From rage, fear, and doubts to confidence, determination, and peace; I continue my journey. I can’t wait to see where anniversary number two has me!

Ifs, Ands, or Buts

30 Jun

As I slapped my hand on the steering wheel…another sigh escaped from my lungs. Dang it! Once again…my thoughts jumbled with the “other” choices.

My temporary job was located clear across the city. Determined to avoid the idiots, the hurried, and the cluster of the freeway, I chose a different route. Necessary to go through parts of town I’d never known, I tried many options. Always trying to best my last drive, I’d contemplate the ‘what ifs’.  If the light hadn’t been red. If there wasn’t any construction. If only that accident hadn’t happened.  A constant nag of betterment resounded in my head. Over and over I questioned my route. I wanted a clear shot, but that never happened.

And so with my writing. If only I didn’t have to market. If only I knew more about publishing. If only. If only. If only. But if I want to get somewhere, I have to keep driving. While still avoiding the fast lanes, my own path calls. I may encounter wrecks, red lights, and detours, but I’ll get there.

And those various city routes…never mind the challenges…I made my destination every time!

~ ~ ~

Update: The project alluded to in The Party’s Over

I’m in the process of editing and designing an eBook…
“The Evolution of a Stir”
…the first in a MAY YOUR SOUL STIR series.
Coming to an electronic shelf near you!

SELL SELL SELL

1 May

I have a friend on Facebook…his usual post “SELL, SELL, SELL”.

There is a difference between my friend and me.  He is a salesman.  I am not.  I’ve always shied away from any type of peddling.  Of the opinion that salesman were vile creatures looking to sell snake oil, I wanted no part of that.  Perhaps my view has changed.

Before beginning this blog, an epiphany to write became the catalyst.  A story in itself, one of healing and spiritual awakening, I imagined this could somehow blossom into more.  Through hours of varied research, I’ve learned in lieu of a bestselling novel, to make a living you must supplement with speaking engagements, newsletters, or some type of innovative promo.  Just as marketing is not my forte, neither is speaking.   I began writing as often my words flow better on paper than from my tongue.

With articles submitted for publishing, I realize that path is a difficult one.  A story is stirred from my heart, not my pocketbook.  Substantial attempts to promote are not in my nature, as neither is writing on demand, but

My writing has a purpose.  Still unclear exactly why, this I know…it has its place.  I’m trying to discern…where I fit, where I don’t.  I do have a gift for seeing a story in the mundane and the inordinate.   I am confident my words are worthy…the context, the message, the delivery.

Although I may not be a salesman, I do have something to offer.  But rather than snake oil, I sell bits of inspiration.  I hope you’re looking to buy!

Fighting Lizards

14 Apr

There’s this lizard…and it’s BIG!  It lives in the flowerbeds around my patio.

While I watched it from a distance, I just couldn’t force myself to face my fear and jump in.  Jump into the flowerbed, that is.  The weeds needed pulled, the shrubs needed trimmed, the mulch needed replaced.  But I was scared…so I let that lizard, and his rowdy friends, keep me from beautifying my garden.

Today…round 1, weeds…and I won.   I was tentative but knew it had to be done.  At first I tiptoed quietly peering into every crevice.  Then a bit relaxed, almost forgetting the enemy’s presence.  And finally…the feeling I did it… in spite of this fear, whether rational or not…I did it.  I flexed my muscles, patted myself on the back, and knew I could conquer more.

Perhaps fears are keeping us from tending our life garden.  Imaginably our fears are big creepy lizards, or evil venomous snakes.  But we should face them, one weed at a time.  If we fight, we may find that gargantuan thing we feared so much was really not so big after all.

If you look close (center of picture) you can see…the lizard that turned out to be not so big after all.

If you look really REALLY close (center of picture) you can see…the lizard that turned out not so big after all.

The View Beyond

20 Mar

Looking out the window from my desk strategically placed for the view, I realize…this too shall change.  The leaves soon to bud, impeding my view to the sky.  As anxious as I am for spring, I dread the confinement the new leaves offer.

In my journey of self-discovery, I observed countless settings in which I felt trapped.  I felt a physical strangulation, like hands around my neck choking the breath from me.

It’s odd how the mundane condition of our day brings about the complex condition of our mind.  Then I ponder…perhaps it’s not odd at all, perhaps just a way to remind us of what we, as individuals, need.  I need a window.  I need a view.  I need a horizon.

There is something about the expanse and limitless the blue sky provides…a window to opportunity, to love, and to acceptance.  The frankness in the beauty represents that for me.

Notwithstanding the obstruction, this I know…the sky with its infinite possibilities lies always just beyond the leaves.

Child’s Play

13 Mar

It was the 4th of July.  On the last leg of a much-needed road trip, I took a route to avoid the busy of the interstate. As I traveled alone through small towns of the panhandle, I saw groups gathering for celebration of our independence.  I found myself yearning to belong, some way to take in the atmosphere of the holiday spirit.

Unlike the other towns, this particular’s park was noticeably empty.  Vacant and mute, the motionless swing provided no children with laughter.  It summoned me there as I gazed in passing.  I had to go back.  It was time to play.

Walking across that park, I contemplated what passersby could think.  As I began to swing, I no longer cared.  With each stretch towards the sky, it took me to new heights of alive.  The methodic swaying, once a forgotten joy was now moments of freedom and fun.  My body of middle age had the heart of a child…and that park was empty no more.

Never mind those passersby.  Never mind the naysayers.  As adults, we should never pass the opportunity to reach for the sky.

Dog Days

6 Mar

Sitting across the living room, playing lovingly with his dog, I asked my son “how long will he live?”  Of course his answer was a mere smallness compared to the life we expect of ourselves.  Seeing the adoration and love they offer one another, I questioned how he would deal with the eventual hurt.  His answer “I would rather have a few great years with him, then none without.  All the love is worth all the loss”.

Realizing now I was looking for the heartache, anticipating the inevitable.  Is that how I approach emotional involvement?  Rather than see the beauty in the gift, I see the trauma in the loss?  What a dismal view!

I have come a long way…in wisdom, in perspective, in outlook; but perhaps the void of love in my life is a perfect way to avoid pain.  Have I done this to myself?  Have I shirked the possibility anticipating a negative outcome?

It seems I have some reflecting to do, after all…pain is a price, but love is priceless.

The Colors in My Closet

30 Jan

The Colors in My Closet

Neurotically placed by their color they hung.  The hues of purple, meticulously grouped by size, shape, and season.  Then others…green, yellow, white, black, and red.  These were my clothes, all lined perfectly as I entered my closet.

As I aged, I no longer saw them the same. Ample light could not distinguish the differences.  They all blended together unseen.  Those beautiful lost clothes in my closet that never got worn.

One day, with no time to sort those freshly cleaned, I hastily placed them mingled.  It was then I realized I could see each more clearly.  Out of my usual, I repositioned them all.  Those beautiful lost clothes now became new.  Each unique and diverse, my wardrobe had expanded.

Perhaps our life is similar.  Perhaps our uniqueness and diversity should stand out rather than blend.

How are the colors in your closet?

Black Shoes Brown Shoes

20 Jan

I walked in, head high, shoulders back, and impeccably groomed.  My attitude, my smile, and my confidence were in sync with the physical presence and I was ready!  Summoned by a recent job search, this was my first interview since I left my long-time job.

As I interacted and moved about the office to handle necessary paperwork, I felt an incredible confidence.  I eventually took a spot in an adjacent office awaiting my interviewer.  As I shifted my legs for a more comfortable position…there they were.  BROWN shoes!  I was mortified.

Brown shoes are fine if your attire calls for brown shoes.  But noooo…my attire called for BLACK shoes.

Okay, so now what?  Flustered, red in the face, and so disappointed in myself, I tried to make the best.  I couldn’t let a pair of shoes negate all the good I had in me.  So began the self talk.  “Cindy, they’re just shoes.  They are a minor glitch in your presence.  You have more to offer than the color of your shoes.”

I repositioned my feet, strategically positioned my purse, and shifted the negative thoughts.  I sailed through the interview with composure and pride and upon arrival to my car; those shoes came off with a chuckle.  The way I see it…if I don’t get a job based solely on the color of my shoes, then I probably don’t want the job anyway.  And…I’m good with that.

The Blogger’s Clique

13 Jan

Guided by the red star beckoning to tell me who “liked” my post, I clicked with anticipation.  It was a loyal follower who finds yet another reason to lift my spirits.  They become my circle…the ones I know I can count on. They don’t hit the button just because they’re “in” my crowd.  You can tell.  They are actually interested.

And then the others…the others I want to hang out with too.  It’s like being in high school all over again.   Come on, don’t you like me?  Don’t you notice I like you?  And if it’s not high school, it’s even worse.  I feel like the little one tugging on the popular teacher’s skirt.  If you’ll just look down you might notice me.  And most often they don’t.

From the office, to Facebook, to blogging, and so on.  Will it ever not be like high school?

Okay…so I regressed for a minute, now I am back to my much wiser, older self.  And you know…it’s okay.  It is really okay.  I like my circle.  I find comfort there.  And I hope they find comfort there too.

Firsts!

9 Jan

Just as we record our firsts as children, we should record them as adults.  That wasn’t clear to me, until as a fifty-something, I realized how many new things I was experiencing…

First dog “New Love” – May 2012

First blood donation – June 2012

First major life epiphany “Born to Write?” – July 2012

First submission for publishing – August 2012

First time to read a blog – September 2012

First poem “Dear Daughter” – October 2012

First major leap of faith “Leap of Courage” – December 2012

First tweet! – January 2013

And as I reflect over those firsts, I see a new batch just yearning for record.  I have never, but I will…

…be officially published

…eat at the Beehive

…explore Big Bend National Park

…work the front line of a natural disaster

…attend the Albuquerque Balloon Festival

…participate in a charity walk

…write the lyrics to a song

…zip line!

What will be your next first?

Nevertheless

6 Jan

In the wee morning hours, with a broken heart, an empty bed, and the light of my television, I wrote. Reveling in the aftermath of a break-up, I searched for closure. The significance of the man is no longer, but the importance of this writing still lingers.  One of his last words to me, “nevertheless”, prompted me to reveal my thoughts on paper. It was then I knew I could use words for healing. 

As is, unedited and imperfect, I present my first writing.   Who could know that five years later, I would begin a public endeavor doing just that.  I thank him.

“Nevertheless”

Life, with its twists and turns, does not always present itself to our liking…

I know that people come in and out of our lives for a reason. For those that choose to stay, I cherish. For those that walk away…there is a reason, although sometimes I do not understand. I do know that a diamond in our possession is a precious stone. In someone else’s it is just a thing of envy. Being envious of something just brings ourselves discontent. Instead we should choose to be grateful for those things that are around us and let go of the things that slip through our grasp.

I know I am responsible for some of the things that slip through my fingers, others I am not – they are beyond my control. I realize that in some moments of personal anguish, I speak or act hastily, thereby hurting the people I love most and pushing them away. I wish I could have the moments back when I was wrong, but at forty-six, I am still learning the whys and how comes and strive to fix the things that matter most. Sometimes I have a resolution, other times I do not. I will forever be a work in progress and I make no apologies for that, rather I feel proud of the small accomplishments I continually make and strive for.

Sometimes you just have to let go to release your pain and move ahead. In the aftermath of a divorce, someone told a story of a woman falling off a cliff that in desperation clung to a small branch to hold for dear life. In the darkness, she knew only to cling to that, but in the light of day realized that had she not struggled so and let go, there was a ledge just beneath her feet that would have caught her fall. I am releasing my grasp. It only causes pain and stagnation. I know that I will fall, but the duration of the fall will be shorter than I expect.

I will never say good-bye to my past; instead use it as a tool for learning. I do have a future. I know not what it brings, only that it will provide me joy and sorrow. Joy to be savored and sorrow for lessons learned.

Find a path and enjoy your journey. It may not be the journey you chose, but it is still your journey with yet more twists and turns.

Life Waiting

2 Jan

Let-GoI made the last drive home…letting go of my job of sixteen years.  Initially it seemed like the others, and then in a moment, the sky appeared larger, brighter, and full of possibilities.  It was as if the world was coming towards me in a positive light rather than a gaping hole of negatives.  Those negatives, actually positives in the big picture…a realization that 2012 was a prelude to the rest of my life.

What a year…a year of discovery, healing, and transition.  I have felt my life shift from the depths of depression to a joy filled awakening.  I have realized a gift and gained a confidence unlike any other I have known.

The turning point…writing.  It has enlightened, inspired, and empowered me.

So I begin.  I begin the life that was waiting for me all along.

A Time to Hibernate

23 Dec

I have long had a disdain for winter. Ample sun, bare feet, and warm temperatures normally trump a bitter cold day.

This year is different.  Many things in my life are changing, and my renewed self is seeing the positive in the once negative.  A time for hibernation has come…a time to store up for spring.  As I enter into my new life, I view this as a season to write.

While I hibernate in my winter, I will awake in my spring.

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